finance bro outfit

The 6 Wall Street Personalities We Love and Hate

Whether you’ve set foot on Wall Street or not, you’ve likely encountered the infamous “finance bro” in some form or another. Finance bros are known for their distinct personalities, confident demeanor, and unique lingo that sets them apart from other professionals. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into the various types of finance bros you’ll find on Wall Street, dissect their personalities, and offer tips on how to interact with each type. Let’s dive in!
business bro
image from cnbc
1. The Classic Finance Bro

A. Johnny Wall Street

If you live in New York or are just passing through, you know this guy. He wears custom-made shirts with a dark Prada suit, no tie. In his office, he tells his co-workers to protect him on a lunch print, his cool way of ordering lunch. Johnny Wall says he’s a size buyer when he sees a hot chick. He’s the last one to show up at his high school reunion driving his newly leased BMW convertible and checking his Rolex.

Nicknamed “J Wall” by his friends, this finance bro is all about appearances and exuding confidence. Although his flashy lifestyle might seem excessive, he’s known for his decisiveness and ability to sell clients with his unwavering self-assuredness.

B. Lax Boy

This guy is in his late 20s or early 30s and you can bet he grew up in Jersey, Long Island, or maybe Westchester. You’ll overhear him talking about how he crushed it in Vegas last weekend or how the hostess at Stanton Social was “vibing” him last night. He refers to everyone as Bro, Pal, Chief, Guy, or Boss.

Lax Boy is all about living life to the fullest and enjoying himself. His outgoing nature and ability to connect with people make him an ideal candidate for networking and building relationships in the finance world.

2. The Powerhouse Professionals

A. The Bionic Woman

I wouldn’t be surprised if she had nunchucks in her Celine bag. She answers your question before you even ask it. She works harder than the men in her office and is on top of everything. She’s impeccably dressed and you’d never know she’s already had two babies. The click of her Louboutins on the pavement echo for blocks.

The Bionic Woman is a force to be reckoned with. She defies expectations and proves that gender has no bearing on her ability to excel in the male-dominated world of finance.

B. The Guy without a GPS

He took a wrong turn after college. He has a perpetual scowl on his face. He hates Wall Street, but makes more money now than he could by doing anything else. His dad got him the interview and it snowballed from there. He has a girlfriend with pouty lips, but she’s on the other side of the bar with her friends.

This finance bro may not have initially planned to end up on Wall Street, but he’s made a successful career for himself regardless. His grit and determination to succeed despite his dissatisfaction with the industry make him a formidable professional.

3. The Seasoned Veterans

A. The Crusty Old Dude

Crusty has white hair and a custom-made suit. Tawny liquor flows like a swirling sculpture in a rocks glass in front of him. He doesn’t talk about stocks or bonds; he’s more concerned about flow charts and restructuring upper management on a cocktail napkin. When you try to give him money for your drinks, he just holds up his hand and looks insulted.

The Crusty Old Dude has seen it all and has a wealth of experience under his belt. His focus on strategy and big-picture thinking make him an invaluable asset to any finance team.

B. The Unusual Suspect

He’s a family man. His office is adorned by 3rd-grade artwork and soccer photos. He’ll kick back a couple of drinks with you at a bar near Pier 11, Grand Central, or Penn Station. But once the clock strikes 6 p.m., he’ll limp out of the bar like Keyser Soze, then gradually pick up the pace to a full-on sprint when he hits the sidewalk to catch the next train.

The Unusual Suspect is proof that finance bros can also be devoted family men. He may not fit the stereotypical mold, but his ability to balance work and personal life make him a well-rounded professional.

4. The Wall Street Misfits

A. The Stephen Hawking and Bridget Jones Love Child

He made it to Wall Street because he’s scary smart – and you want him on your team – but he’s so socially awkward it’s painful. He can even sneak the word “duration” in explaining how long it took him to go to the bathroom. Still, there’s something lovable about him.

This finance bro may lack social grace, but his intelligence and unique perspective make him an invaluable asset to any team.

B. Austin Powers

He’s just a dude – laid back and works relatively hard. But he’s undercover. You can’t catch him talking about business unless he’s at a steakhouse with other suits. He secretly rolls his eyes at Wall Street jargon and it’s hard to catch. He won’t mention he works on Wall Street until the third date – but that’s why she falls for him.

Austin Powers may not fit the typical finance bro mold, but his ability to blend in and maintain a low profile make him an interesting character in the world of Wall Street.

5. The Specialists

A. Investment Bankers

From the decisive banker to the improvisational banker, the steady banker, and the anal-retentive banker, investment bankers display a range of finance bro personalities. Each type has its strengths and weaknesses, but all contribute to the overall success of their respective teams. You’ll usually see these guys in their finance bro vest strutting around downtown Manhattan with a Starbucks in hand and a finance bro vest.

finance bro outfit

B. Hedge Fund Portfolio Managers and Analysts

Hedge funds are dominated by a combination of dominant and conscientious personalities. These finance bros are known for their obsession with details, process, and proof, as well as their stubbornness and confidence. They provide the foundation for success in the hedge fund world but can also be the cause of burnout.

C. Private Equity Professionals

Private equity professionals are typically decisive and driven, with an ability to modulate between conscientious and improvisational thinking. They excel at selling expensive capital, deploying assets under management, and monetizing results.

6. Strategies for Dealing with Finance Bros

When interacting with finance bros, it’s important to understand their personality types and adjust your approach accordingly. Whether you’re dealing with a dominant, improvisational, steady, or conscientious finance bro, being aware of their tendencies and preferences can help you communicate effectively and foster a positive working relationship.

In conclusion, the world of Wall Street is filled with a diverse array of finance bros, each with their unique personalities and quirks. Understanding these various types of Wall St. personalities can help you navigate the complex and competitive landscape of the financial industry. So next time you encounter a finance bro, keep this guide in mind and appreciate the rich tapestry of personalities that make up the world of finance.

You Might Also Like